D.O.P.-T.

Yesterday the dogs decided to wake me at 5-something rather than wait for the housemate to come home from work and feed them. Up to now the team strategy has been for Bear to stand in the middle of my bedroom, booming lustily, while the housemate's dog gets up on the bed and tries to excavate me with his pointy snout. He twists like a corkscrew to get in under my pillow and sometimes manages to flip it out from under my head. If that strategy fails, Bear gets up on the bed, straddles me, and licks my face copiously despite all efforts to hide it. Then the housemate's dog gets jealous, jumps up on the bed again, and tramples my body and hair while barking like a fire alarm. This time, Bear tried taking a leaf out of the other guy's playbook - he threw himself down headfirst next to me and vibro-massaged me like the roller-brush in a drive-through carwash. Then the other dog got jealous and they had a fight right on top of me. So I got up and fed 'em.